I Am Wide Awake
by whirlergirl
Summary: Todd's been lying, unmoving, on the bed for too long. But his Noise has other ideas... I'm not very good with descriptions, but anyway. Just a kinda fluffy Tiola one-shot. Hope you enjoy it (Rated T because I'm paraniod)


{Viola}  
"And oh, my beautiful boy, I'm afraid of what she's going to suggest." I close the book, but I don't look up from it yet, slowly running my finger along the slit down the middle.  
The book that saved his life.  
The journal that stopped the knife going too deep.  
The convoy will be landing soon, but there's no way I'm leaving his side. The last week has been even more difficult than most, his little bursts of Noise becoming more and more infrequent, until we're lucky if we hear anything at all. He's still lying there, eyes open, fixed, mouth slightly ajar, chest slowly rising, falling, but only just. It's been a month now and still nothing. Ben's positive he'll come back soon, but I'm beginning to lose hope. Every second he's not here is a second I spend reliving what happened there.

Him lying-

Snow mixing with the blood on his chest-

Ben holding him-

And rocking-

And weeping-

And-

Oh god-

Oh god-

My rage-

My desperation-

We'd won-

We'd _just_ won-

And then I'm back, in the little spackle hut, in a little spackle seat, with him lying on a little spackle bed. And remembering what happened tears my heart in two.

I hold my head in my hands and I cry and I cry and I cry and I can't stop. I don't know how long it's been until I finally do.

"Where are you?" I whisper, more to myself than anyone.

There's only a few spackle outside now, most of them've left for the landing ceremony with Ben and Bradley. It's nice to be alone, I guess. Nice just to be in his company. But it's also the hardest thing in the world because he's not awake is he? So, wiping my eyes, I begin to read the journal over again. "My deare-" I begin.

But I'm cut off.

Not by Ben or 1017 or another spackle.

I'm cut off by Noise.

By _his_ Noise.

 **My dearest son** is all it says but it's enough to pull at my stomach and make my hands shake, because it's the first thing he's thought in five days. Because it's the first time he's responded to something someone said. And before I know it, I'm jumping out of my seat and I'm kneeling next to him, grasping his hand like there's no tomorrow, and begging, begging him to come back to me.

"Please," I whisper. "Please don't leave me."

And, **Viola?**

I try to choke back a loud sob but it comes anyway, and I'm nodding, I'm pleading with him, and my heart is racing and he's saying **Viola? Viola?** like he's not quite sure who I am. But then his noise goes an orangey-pink colour and **Viola! Viola! Viola! Viola!** I'm telling him I'm here and I just want to see his eyes to move. And there're pictures in his Noise, too, memories of us. Of him running down the hill carrying me, of how worried and scared he was, of him seeing my band for the first time and of when we were in the tent and I leaned forward and-

And one piece of Noise flies higher than the rest, louder than everything else.

 **Cuz here I come**

He rakes in a massive breath, eyes widening, torso leaving the bed completely and what follows is a horrible coughing fit, as if he were trying to forcibly eject his lungs from his body. He takes deep breaths for a few minutes, unable to say anything, and I'm holding his hand and rubbing his back and he's half fallen out of the bed. And of course, I'm crying. But it's not because I'm sad, but rather I'm so relieved and happy and-

"Viola?" he rasps, but with his mouth this time. It's incredibly quiet and gentle and soft, but there's no way I would've missed it. Because he's here. And I find I can't say anything, so I just cry harder and wrap my arms around his back and I hold on so tight because I'm never letting go, never letting go of him again. And it takes him no more than two seconds before he wraps his arms around me. He buries his face in my hair and he takes a deep breath and sighs into it. "I'm here," he says when we break apart, his own eyes wet.

"Todd," I say and my voice cracks and he just smiles and cups my cheeks with his hands, brushing away the remaining tears. I can hear his Noise, _really_ hear it, and it's so loud and happy and repeating my name over and over **Viola!** and **It's really you** and questions, so many questions, about 1017, about Ben, about the new settlers, but my name is the loudest and it's at the very front.

And this time, he's the one who leans forward, and this time he's the one kissing me. Softly, but firmly, he kisses me (if that can make any sense at all). He holds my head in place, like he's never going to let go. But, since breathing is a necessity, and his actions rendered my lungs useless, we broke apart. I look him straight in the eyes say, "I love you Todd Hewitt. I love you, you beautiful fucking idiot, and you'd better realise real quick that nothing in this universe is ever going to change that."

His Noise envelopes us and tells me more than he could ever say with words. I'm doused in feelings of guilt and regret, but also feelings of hope and love. And love _love love_. He grabs my hand and rubs the back of my palm. I can feel my face going hot, but I can also see the tips of his ears are bright red. But at this point neither of us really care anymore. Because my arms are wrapped around him again and his around me and I whisper in to his ear. "You ain't never leaving me again, Todd Hewitt. You hear me?" I shift my body so that I'm looking straight into his eyes. "Not never again."

"Never plan to," he says.


End file.
